Fishes and ocean!

Fishes are not in my favorite animal list, I hate to say that but I rather eating them to enjoy watching them swimming around in an aquarium, maybe because they are so dull and predictable! There is nothing special about their body either! It is soft and shiny, full of scales and that’s it! No hands! No feet or remarkable tail! However some of them possess some quality in their body or behavior but nevertheless! It doesn’t interest me!

On the other hand I like crabs, lobsters, shrimps, starfishes, seahorses and octopuses! Specially the last one, even so I haven’t seen any of them in person, but I can’t hide my eager!

Next week I’ll travel to the north and if I get lucky we‘ll visit the beach for 1-2hours, I haven’t been there for a long time and I am very excited about it! I can remember old good days that I was a college student in Rasht and we used to get there more often, it almost got very casual for me standing there, watching waves crashing the shore, it made my heart beating fast and my body warm, actually I forgot the feeling so I can’t talk about it more, maybe if I see it again, it come back to me, I hope so!

Life route!

Today was not a perfect day for me, I woke up late in the morning, my head was pounding and my legs were shaky and unstable, I could barely stand on my feet and I was feeling sleepy all morning, I tried to study but I didn’t understand a word, It was exhausting being so useless and invalid, unable of doing your dairy tasks and worse of all you don’t even know why!!! It like something bad is happening for you and you are unaware of that but it is so big and nasty which infect you from its source anyway!

I don’t want to be skeptical but I can sense it! Sooner or later it will show its ugly face to me and I want to be ready for it!

Everything comes to me I’ll be ready for it, and I won’t break so easy, I believe life is like a unpredictable route! Sometimes it is hard to pass through, obstacles are too high and impossible but you are supposed to not give up and keep fighting, it is the only way to survive! you just go ahead and don't be afraid, problems going to past soon, I'll guarantee it! so let’s be strong!

Beautiful Flower

I enjoy writing most than everything and even as a child I always wanted to be a famous novelist who creates fascinating dramatic stories which everybody read it and loves it!

Love ones!

There are some people in your life that you care about them so much and like to help them, make them happy and having happy hours with them, but having those people around make you anxious and uncomfortable, when they go, you feel sad and worried, like a big hole of emptiness inside and you forget how much they were making you miserable, all these events makes you confuse and you trying to understand it, but nothing changes!

I have some of these relatives, they are not normally in our home, they live faraway and every 3-4 month, they come to our house and first feeling that rush to me is pleasure and make my heart beating, but after a while that excitement goes away and differences appears very fast, my love to them tries to make it right but always we end up suffering and we fall apart again,

Like it or not, we can’t tolerant each other and we have to stay away, but it doesn’t change the fact that the love between us!

So! I still have hope!

Butterfly

I know a child who I like so much and she has a real talent in painting, Her name is Hosna and she only has 4 years old.

My best birthday memory

Birthday never was a serious tradition in our home, I personally missed a lot of my birthdays but that doesn't mean I didn't have one at all! However it wasn't a surprise! I always knew either my mom want to celebrate it or not, I should admit some of those days were really memorable!

Giant snowman

In our city winter was always the same, frozen weather, no sign of snow, maybe a little, which any of it never remained even for one day for us to play, of course for everything, there was some special years.

The story of poor frogs!

As a child I personally wasn't a bad and troublemaker girl, but about my little brother, it was a different story, he and his nutty friends used to hanging around the rivulet and searching for any kind of creepy animal like snakes, lizards, frogs or turtles.

It is just glasses, not a big deal!

Since I was a kid my eyes couldn't recognize some staff in distance, in school, at the class.

It was just a game!

As a kid we were very creative for inventing games, for us making games was a game itself, mostly because we were four teenager in a big boring house with our toys and nothing else, we had to stay indoor expect for yard that was wide and it had a balcony and gardens around it!

Our most favorite game was going to yard and pretending to be businessmen, each of us had a store and sold whatever he or she wants! For example I had a bakery and I made bread for my sisters and brother, my elder sister had a green-grocery shop and we were buying fruits and vegetables there, my brother managed a grocery and my younger sister was in jewelry business.

Sometimes we switched our jobs or picked different carriers! But nevertheless we did our best and we were committed to our profession, maybe more than adults, toys were our work stuff and we used to trade some as money.

It took hours and when it was lunch time, my mother used to call us and we realized it was all just a game not reality! 

Maybe I should stop …

Talking a about love is a difficult matter for everybody…well specially me, because I never had an actual love in my whole life, sometimes I feel that I am falling in love but after a while I realize it was just a temporary crush based on beauty or being cute!

At first I thought there is something wrong with me because I can’t sense any attraction toward any man I see around anymore, but then I tried to find the reason and now I can see it.

Don’t get me wrong! I wasn't a freak who doesn't understand love; on the contrary I am desperate about it, but my heart is so worried about being played, I am so skeptical and insecure, if it is not the one! If I make a mistake! If… my experiences also didn't any help and made it worse and worse!

Finally I decided to give up, if love is out there, it’ll find me eventually, and if it is not maybe I should stop...       

State fair

When I was a little kid, we used to go to the state fair, I loved being there, I sometimes still think about those days, we had a tradition and it was always the same, we got through the gates, we watched the game machines for a few minutes and then we realized my father took the ticket for us, it was sometimes a short line and very soon we were in the air screaming and having fun!

After 3-4 times on different machines, this part of journey was over and next part started, going for dinner, it was usually just kebab and dough! Everybody loved it except me! I was always a fast-food fan but sitting under pomegranate trees, smelling scent of leaf and the most important thing being with my family was a sweet and memorable that even as a child I knew that.

My father never bought us any candy or cookie because he believed those things are harmful and unhygienic and making us sick, we used to complain a lot about it specially cotton candy on a stick was very tempting, unfortunately he never went for it and one of these days when I will be a mom with her children in a state fair, I‘ll buy them anything they want and particularly cotton candy on stick!